Emerald Love: Autism, Teaching, and Trying to be an Open Minded Woman

If I Could Turn Back Time

2011-07-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate the moments in life where you wish you could turn back time? Back when I was in high school (20 years ago...how did THAT happen?), Cher had a song called If I Could Turn Back Time. Some of the lyrics are: I don't know why I did the things I did. I don't know why I said the things I said.

We all have regrets like this. But my biggest regrets come from the times when I DIDN'T say something. It's not something that happens to me often. Those of you who know me in "real life" know that I usually say what I gotta say. But sometimes, even opinionated, loud me can be silenced. By fear. By anger. By embarrasment. By looking at the wrong "big picture."

In becoming an adult, this was so hard for me. I WANT to be able to always speak out for the principles in which I believe. But when you have responsibilities, it's so hard! I can't always say what I want to say...fear of losing a job, offending a co-worker I have to see every day, or hurting someone else's feelings. But I do try.

When you have an autistic child, it's hard sometimes to speak up but it's not because of fear, but because of anger or shock. Last week, someone had some pretty ugly things to say to me about my child's behavior. A complete stranger. Instead of tearing her tail up, I walked away. It's not me. It's not in me to walk away. But my gut was screaming, "GET NOVA AWAY FROM THIS PERSON." I do NOT want my daughter around negativity. But I hurt that I did not stand up to this woman.

I try to remind myself that it wouldn't have changed her opinion or her behavior. I try to remind myself that mean people have been hurt. But it's so hard! We've all been hurt. But it's up to US to treat others with respect.

BULLIES BEWARE!

2011-06-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

Except for Casey Anthony and Rep. Weiner, it seems the only other news stories lately have been about the aftermath of bullying. Now that I'm home for the summer, I got to watch Dr. Phil yesterday. The dad was on that is being legally reprimanded for going onto his daughter's school bus and confronting the children that were bullying his special needs daughter.

Well, he used the F word a lot and he said he'd kill the kids if they didn't quit it. So it's got a lot of those parents of kids on that bus freaked out and angry. I gotta tell ya, I am not angry about it. I wish I could shake that dad's hand! I'm SICK AND TIRED of this happening to our young people. Some parents are upset because their children weren't involved, but were scared by this man's rant. Well, ya know what? I say your kids WERE involved because they did not stick up for the attacked child, or tell their parents about it, or something! We've got to teach our kids that this is NOT okay! That when they allow it to happen to someone around them, they are just as guilty!

Do I get that this is a hard thing to do? Of course I do. It's incredibly hard to stick up to someone. It's frightening and can cause stomach cramps from the fear...I totally get that. But if we teach our kids to do it, and we practice how to do it and then tell someone...I swear it will help. When I was being tormented in high school, I would have loved for someone to come to my aid. It would have shown me that someone was in my corner. Cause I gotta tell ya...in my case, I was never afraid for my physical safety...but the absolute fear of what they were going to do to humiliate me next...was enough to give me ulcers and turn me into a self-loathing teen who turned to "bad things" to self medicate.

And do NOT even get me started on the parents of these bullies! I teach high school. I see bullies. Do I report it every time? Sure I do. Schools do what they can. But legally, our hands get tied pretty quickly, and in this day and age, with teens, it happens more online than it does in person. Pretty easy to be a tough guy when you're not face to face. But these parents! Quit defending your children when they are WRONG. Quit teaching them there are no consequences. Cuz guess what? There are consequences in life and when they act like punks in adult life, they end up in jail or dead.

I'll end my post today by saying I wish I could meet that father. I hope I would act the same in his shoes. His heart was right. And maybe some kids got scared, and that's too bad, but I think even the kids on that bus that weren't involved, learned something that day: that their actions have consequences. I have already had to deal with my daughter having something happen to her because she couldn't speak up for herself. I plan to keep doing this, and this dad was an example I hope to follow.

Wednesday means Grab a Good Book!

2011-06-15T05:38:00.000-07:00

This year, I taught a new book to my tenth graders. It's called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon. Now, let me tell you. When teaching a novel to high school sophomores means I have to use all my tricks. Overall, teens groan when you mention you're about to start a new novel. In a world where they can tweet and change their FB status within seconds, committing to the time it takes to read a novel seems absolutely insane to them. You have to really "hook" them.

Overall, though, with this book....I didn't have to "hook" too much. It was amazing! The first thing we did before beginning to read, was I chose ten words from the first ten pages, and listed them on the whiteboard. They had to predict what they thought the first ten pages would be about, based on those words. We shared with our peers what we thought. Then we read those pages and talked about our predictions compared to what actually was written. It was fun. We had a good laugh or two. The kids were INTO it. The book did that from the beginning.

It's a great story about a boy with Asperger's who finds a murdered dog in his neighborhood and decides to play detective to find out who killed the dog. His journey, though, leads him to discover some incredibly powerful secrets about himself. Everyone should read it!

Tuesday is Help Others Day

2011-06-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

Recently, my little town was on the news because Sarah Truitt, a resident, took it upon herself to arrange help for Joplin, MO, her hometown. To see her facebook page, go to facebook and then Iowa's Effort-Joplin Tornado Relief.

People from all over the area donated items for Sarah to take to Joplin. So many items were donated that she had to get a truck/trailer to haul them all.

So the helping others lesson is to be sure to pay attention for efforts like these. Nova and I talked about it a lot. One of my goals as a parent is to raise a child who understands the gift and reward in helping others, whether she has autism or not. Truth be told, since her diagnosis, we've had to rely on the help of others, something that does not come easy to me.

We don't have a lot of money, so we looked around the house for things we could donate. We found buckets, medical bandages, and other bathroom supplies. While looking, we found a few bucks around the house and used them to buy paper plates and cups.

The most important part of everything, in our house, was the conversation that took place between me and my daughter. She helped me put the things in the van and we drove it over to be dropped off. In the car, we talked about helping others. I don't always know if Nova sees "big ideas," but some day it will click!

Summer Blues

2011-06-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

Lord have mercy, summer is tough when your child has autism!! The first week out of school, Nova really had a hard time. Less structure, mommy (a teacher) is exhausted, trying to find our way. Then week two, mini-vaca with grandma and mommy, which again, means different routine. Hotel rooms. Restaurants. Excitement over new experiences. All things Nova needs. All things a melt down waiting to happen.

Overall, she did great. Overall, my patience held out. (with a few hits of nicoutine outside the hotel---something I'm not proud of). Sure helped having grandma there! Crayons and work books, fave toys all made it okay.

So let's talk about it....what things help you when routines are broken???

Trying to Stay Positive

2011-06-10T20:51:00.001-07:00

It's so hard sometimes!!! I want to be a positive force in others' lives. I want this for my family, my students, my friends. But sometimes...ahhh...it's so hard. Then I read about a young woman like this...and it really puts things into perspective. Please read and send her a message!!

alicepyne.blogspot.com

Holiday spirit???

2009-12-29T15:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, really, I think I'm a pretty generous person. I really DO like doing things for other people. But then something will happen to you and you wonder why bother??? The night before Christmas eve, someone broke into our van and stole all of my daughter's Christmas presents. SERIOUSLY???? They were wrapped in Dora paper, for crying out loud, it's not like they couldn't tell they were for a little girl!!

My faith in humanity has been tested on this one. Don't get me wrong, I know it was just one or two people, I know it's not everyone. But the fact that it CAN happen...wow...amazes me. I must be naive.

2009-12-16T18:36:00.001-08:00

I've been gone for ages and I apologize. Back on now!!! Hope this holiday season finds everyone healthy and happy.

This book changed my life

2009-01-27T19:35:00.001-08:00

One of my dearest friends gave me this book for Christmas and I instantly fell in love with it. The Shack by William P. Young is the story of a man who had to deal with the worst possible heartache. No family should have to go through it. But he spent a weekend with God and found a way to forgive. Forgiveness is the main theme, but there are so many more. It will truly make you rethink some of the things you believe.

Wednesday's Book Recommendation

2009-01-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry I've been gone so long, folks. We've all been pukey sick! First hubby had the flu, then myself and Nova at the same time. Great way to spend the holidays!

This week's book recommendation is She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. It's an oldie but goody! I first read it in college when it came out and fell in love with Deloris, the main character. Any woman can relate to SOMETHING she goes through. Several times, I found myself looking at the author's picture to make sure it was really written by a man!

The Sicklies

2008-12-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

I've been gone for ages...did anyone miss me? Ha! We've all been sick...first Nova, then Kurt, then me. It's been a blast, let me tell you. I'll have lots to share, though, as Nova has a holiday program at preschool coming up and her Xmas pics will be in soon. Hope everyone is well!

Wednesday means get a good book!

2008-11-25T19:55:00.000-08:00

This week's book recommendation was actually recommended to me and I just fell in love with it. It's called The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. It's a memoir that's so unbelievable you'll forget it's real! It's kind of like a modern day A Tree Grows in Brooklynn. What this woman went through as a child, who then became a successful adult in spite of it...wow.

The Rage?

2008-11-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

I'm a pretty intuitive person. I know how people work and why they do the things they do. Which is why I know the rage is sitting below the surface somewhere and will come out sooner or later. Why the rage? Because my daughter isn't perfect.

Now, no one is perfect. And I don't care for me as much as I care for her. I worry that she won't have friends or boyfriends, that her future won't hold high school dances, cruising with friends, or marching band and sports. I ache for her future because I do not know what it will be.

I know this is normal. I know we have to grieve what our ideas of our daughter were. And I know in my heart, that it will be okay. I know in my heart that we'll have just as many joys---just different ones than we had invisioned. But I also know the grief process and rage has to happen sooner or later. Maybe it's coming soon, as I've been thinking about it--wondering when it would arrive.

Parents, it's okay to feel these things. Our lives are now seriously up and down and spirally at times. If we're not honest about how we feel and deal with it, well, we'll become spirally ourselves and that's not good for our children.

So, I say--Come on, fates. Bring on the rage.

Wednesday's Book Recommendation!

2008-11-12T18:09:00.000-08:00

This week's book recommendation is The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks. It's a sequel to The Notebook, which many of us loved and loved the movie. The Wedding, though, is a different kind of love story. It's about trying to save a love that has changed over years and it's about taking those we love for granted. A quick and great read!

Alphabet

2008-11-10T20:02:00.000-08:00

I have been working with Nova on her letters. We learned N O V A. She still won't say "Nova" but she'll say N O V A. That's great. Well, she has this horrid alphabet game that you press a letter and it SCREAMS (and there's no volume on this thing) A APPLE or X X-RAY. It's completely obnoxious.

The other day, my husband had her and my nephew out playing on the swings. He took some sidewalk chalk and wrote Nova and Brady (his name). Nova walks over and says N O V A as expected. Then she goes on, B R A D Y. Uhhhhh WHAT????

Turns out, that darn obnoxious toy has taught her ALL HER LETTERS. Wooohoooo!!!!! Now she knows all letters and numbers 0-10. Woohoooooooo twice!!!!

Tonight Changes the Way the World Looks at Us

2008-11-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

This is not meant to offend anyone. But I have to celebrate inside a little bit. I have met Senator Obama and I have no problem following him anywhere. I do believe our country MUST find a way to fuse together as one entity. We've lived too long in a place that we call a melting pot, but are separated by economic status, race, religion, sexual orientation, and gender. I'm very proud to have been a part of an election in which not only did I support a candidate I felt was worthy, but of history being made. This is a picture I took one of the times I heard him speak.

Trick or Treat Fun

2008-11-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

Nova really "got" Trick or Treating this year. She realized if she holds her plastic pumpkin out, people put candy in it. That got her attention! She was a super cute University of Texas cheerleader. Check out our pics!

Not a recession?

2008-10-25T09:08:00.001-07:00

Forget the presidential race for a minute. Forget the slanderous comments of McCain towards others (can you see where my loyalties lie? lol) Let's talk about money. I know it's undignified. But we've got to be real. Too many people are broke.

I'm not talking about the people who have to give up their monthly trips to the spa, here. I'm talking BROKE. Almost everyone in my small circle of friends is LESS THAN a paycheck from being homeless. Juggling bills to feed their kids. Behind on student loans. Ummm. People got an education so they could live better. So much for that. They'll be in serious trouble for getting that education because wages don't cover paying college loan payments.

And I'm not talking about people who are in trouble for living beyond their means. I'm not talking about "Joe the Plumber who makes a couple hundred grand a year and isn't a plumber at all. I'm talking about hard working, dependable people who cannot pay their bills.

It's not right. We have to reprioritize. Exxon had RECORD BREAKING sales this year. (And we wonder why we were paying almost 4 bucks in gas?) I say Exxon has to give back. Fine, they don't have to pay the taxes they are supposed to. Rechannel that money. Instead of making them pay those taxes (because, come on...we all know that's not gonna happen), let's make them help the people of this country.

They should be forced to adopt communities and do what is necessary to help the people within them. They can buy some houses for people who have always rented, they can fix up the schools that are falling apart, they can set up programs to help people pay for daycare, and they can help people pay off student loans.

It's POCKET CHANGE to these corporations, folks. It wouldn't even make a dent in their profits. I say we go old school and make these corporations help PEOPLE. Get back to the way things used to be, when people helped one another. It's just not as hard as we (being the government and society) make it.

Wednesday=Get a Good Book!

2008-10-22T14:38:00.000-07:00

This week's book recommendation is Rats Saw God by Rob Thomas (no, he's not the Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20...he is, however the Rob Thomas that writes for the new 90210).

This book is really geared for young adults (teens) but man is it worth the read! I use it in book club and the kids LOVED it. I taught it when I lived in Austin to freshman and they ate it up, too.

It's a story about fitting in and trying to figure out where you belong. It can speak to ANYONE.

Kids are the same as they used to be

2008-10-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

You hear people (some, mind you--not all) who have been educators for a million years (and who shouldn't be anymore) say things like, "What's wrong with these kids? They didn't used to be this way!" or "Kids are so different than..."

I understand why they think this. Behaviors really are different. But kids? They're the same. They're just like you were, just like I was. The difference? Their worlds are different.

First of all, students now (even high schoolers) have NEVER lived without cell phones, internet, texting. They've had it their ENTIRE lives. Man, I remember learning how to email IN COLLEGE. And I don't feel THAT old (I'm 34).

Second of all, families are different. Divorce was becoming a big trend when I was in high school. Now it's happening SO OFTEN...or parents were never married to begin with. There are grandparents raising grandchildren, single parent homes, older siblings raising younger ones. Is there really a question of why they act differently than kids did 20 or so years ago???

Thirdly, let's face it---MEDIA! Their information is given to them the second it happens. And prime time tv? Wow. My grandfather would turn in his grave if he could hear the language used on prime time. And that started years ago...Friends (which I love) says the b word, a**, etc. all the time. And they talk about sex like it's nothing. And we wonder why our students have boundaries. When I was a kid, we did what teens do. We didn't always make good choices. People drank, smoked, had sex. *gasp!* But we sure as heck didn't talk about any of that in earshot of a teacher! These kids have no shame in saying ANYTHING, anytime, anywhere.

I get super irritated because if you get to know the kids and have a relationship with them...you see that they really are the same. They want to be accepted by their peers, they want to do well in school, they want adults to look up to, and they want rules and limits. Are they going to TELL you that? Hell no!!!!

You have to just know it and figure out how to sneak them into accepting it!

You know what Wednesday means!

2008-10-14T20:07:00.001-07:00

It's book recommendation time. This week, check out The Girls by Lori Lansens.

It is the story of conjoined twins named Rose and Ruby. It is narrated by the twins themselves. It's so amazing to get their actual perspective. While it's fiction, you can't hardly believe someone could write it without having gone through it. You really get a feel for what the two girls are feeling and what their life is really like.

It also gives us a glimpse of their adoptive parents and what kind of people they were. They love the girls unconditionally and it really is moving.

A Woman's Guilt

2008-10-13T17:57:00.000-07:00

Guilt is a huge drag. What is it that makes women (especially moms) feel so guilty all the time? Today I took a day off work. I'm super sick. I have this huge hole in my ear drum and I have to see a specialist. Had to do the CAT scan thing today. The kind where they inject you full of "contrast" (in my terms...dye). I'm one sick chick. And I don't mean sick like perverted ;)

But all day (well, the hours I was awake) I felt horrible about missing work. Never mind that I'll go back to a nightmare--having a sub. teacher is never easy. But all day, I kept thinking, "People will see me out. They will think, 'Oh she's skipping work.'"

Part of that is teaching in a small town. People really do call the superintendent if they see you in town when you should be working. Apparently, we're not allowed to be sick or take a mental health day, in the eyes of the community.

But part of it is just the guilt I put upon myself. I feel guilty that my kid is playing in a living room that is covered in toys and needs vacuumed. I feel guilty that I have to work instead of take care of my daughter. I feel guilty that I get sick. I feel guilty that I can't get everything done that is "expected" of me.

What is that? Tell me, folks. What do YOU feel guilty about? Maybe we'll all feel better if we just get it out there!

Doing for Others

2008-10-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

On Thursdays, you know I encourage you to do for others. One of the best things you can do for others in encourage them to get a mammogram. Breast cancer is happening to women younger and younger. It's not just important for women in their 50s plus anymore. Remind every woman that's important to you!

Go Get This Book!

2008-10-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

This week's book recommendation is for Secrecy by Belva Plain. It takes us through the journey of being attacked by someone you know. It chronicles a girl from the age of fourteen into her thirties, and how this incredible hurt helps to determine the adult that she has become. It's a must read! There's even a super big twist that surprised the heck outta me!

A Big Fat THANK YOU

2008-10-06T20:12:00.000-07:00

A BIG BIG BIG thank you to the people, both my blogger buddies and my friends from "the real world" for helping out my Student Book Club by sending us books or ways to get books.

You have no idea how much I appreciate it. The kids are so excited. We even designed t-shirts for our book club for the second year. I, of course, am loving every minute of it.

Thanks again to:

k-mom

pjmomof3boys

nochickensinmyhair

bratmom

Ryan Sweeney

Rhonda Wishon

Peggy and Ryan Lundquist

Jerri Black

AEA 14

O.J. Fargo

Andrea Compton

Every single one of you TOTALLY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!

Another Clarke Homecoming

2008-10-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

Well, my alma mater had another homecoming. We survived it. By survive, I mean...man is it some work for the teachers! (Well, those who care about kids anyway).

We had dress up days all week. I did not partake, as I feel that I should be professional looking at work. I did, however partake in Clarke Pride (wearing the good ol' maroon and white) today.

Then Thursday was Boom Night. For those of you who do not know, Boom Night is a night of class skits and other competitions. It's a big deal here. And for those of you alums who haven't been to one in a while, it's different. No more making fun of staff (good for me, bad for kids), and no more at home skit practice. We do it all during advisory time now (which means 23 minutes per day).

But the clincher is that the other things have to be done during that time. So, the majority of the class is working on the skit and the rest of us are creating indoor and outdoor decorations for those competitions.

My academic team splits up the duties. Gall and Lampe take care of the skit (thank goodness), Owens and Rowe take care of indoor decorations, Bannerman and Bell babysit the kids who won't participate, and I'm in charge of outdoor decorations.

This is a huge pain. But then Boom Night rolls around and it's actually quite fun. The men on our team grill burgers for us while the kids put up the decorations. The kids have a ball. It's like they get to legally vandalize the school. We made "Class of 2010" banners, "Clarke Pride," "Go Clarke" etc. The pictures are of some of my kids doing the decorations.

I think I got home at 11. Except for missing out on time with my own daughter, it's not a horrible night.

Book Time!

2008-09-30T19:03:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday again and you know what that means! Book recommendation time, once again. This week's book recommendation is Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. It's the story of a young medical student in the early part of the Great Depression. When his parents die, he literally takes off and joins the traveling circus life. It's got some seriously great humor in it, and it's a hard one to put down.

Harvest Barn

2008-09-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

If you live in southern Iowa, take your kids to Harvest Barn this fall. For four or five bucks a person, your kiddos can run through a corn maze, feed pigs and roosters, pet goats and sheep, pick out a pumpkin, play games, etc. Nova had a blast. Is it my idea of a grand time? Not so much. But who cares because she LOVED it and loved "talking" to the animals.

Twinkle, Twinkle

2008-09-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

The coolest thing happened tonight. Nova is starting to get more communicative, as most of you know. She's now starting to sing twinkle, twinkle little star...

Tonight she was singing. Her rendition goes...

tinkle, tinkle lilllllll tar
how i budder budder are

then she kind of lalalala

but tonight, she ended with next time won't you sing...

she combined twinkle, twinkle with the alphabet song (which are the same song, and the same as baa baa black sheep)

it was too cute that she figured that out. i laughed for ten minutes.

2 great giveaways at momdot.com

2008-09-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Head over to momdot.com and enter to win a toddler tee or a blanket. they're both adorable!

http://www.momdot.com/?p=1507

New Pictures of Nova

2008-09-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

Wednesday's Book Recommendation

2008-09-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, fellow book nerds, listen up. This week's book recommendation is actually a trilogy. It's by Nora Roberts (who I admit, I love). It's about three women who are *gasp* witches. Nell Channing, Ripley Todd and Mia Devlin have to break the pattern set by their foremothers, or the island on which they live will sink.

Someone recommended these to me, and I gotta tell ya...I thought to myself, "Witches? Ummm, don't think so." I wasn't into it at all. But then she gave me one. And I began the book. And. I. Loved. It. They're witches, sure. But modern woman witches which makes them cool. Try them, they're super awesome to read. And you can pick them up super cheap if you look...I found them in the dollar section of Half Price Books.

PLEASE CHECK OUT THIS GIVEAWAY

2008-09-14T11:29:00.001-07:00

Head on over to Tanya's and check out her giveaway for 2 Walgreen's gift cards. She is participating in an autism walk and needs support.

Here's the link: http://tanyabyer.blogspot.com/2008/09/walgreens-gift-card-giveaway.html

Jenny's Book

2008-09-13T19:34:00.000-07:00

Jenny McCarthy's book, Louder than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism is the reason my daughter is doing well today. I read the book because a couple of people had read excerpts in magazines and brought them to me. I'd been worried about a couple of things with Nova but could never really pinpoint it. A few days after reading it, I made the appointment in Iowa City to have her "tested" for autism.

While it was one of the worst days of my life (I mean, let's be real. No one WANTS this for their kid), I'm so happy that I read the book because I knew what questions to ask. Being an educator didn't hurt either. I honestly think I was and am taken more seriously when it comes to my daughter because I am an educator. Jenny's book really steered me in the right direction.

Now, Nova's behind in communication but we're on the right track. Everywhere you look, it will tell you that EARLY DETECTION is the key. I'm so happy that we did this when Nova was two, because now at three (we just had her diagnosed in February), she's in preschool, socializing much better, and learning new vocabulary every day. I know in my heart of hearts that while it won't be an easy road, that Nova will be okay.

Thank you, Jenny McCarthy for giving us direction by writing in an open, frank way.

Doing for Others Thursday

2008-09-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

It's almost Friday! That means it's time to do something nice for somebody! This week is very simple. If you have children, I'd like you to write a note to someone who does something good for your child: it can be a grandparent, teacher, neighbor, babysitter--heck it can be for the bus driver for getting your child to school safely.

A little thank you will really brighten some one's day!

Wednesday means get a good book!

2008-09-09T18:21:00.001-07:00

Thanks again to everyone who is sending books to my student book club. I really appreciate every one's generosity.

This week's book recommendation is The Saving Graces by Patricia Gaffney. It is a truly amazing story of the friendship between four women. It leads us through the perspectives of each of the women, so we see all sides of the story. We're taken through divorce, love, infertility, and many other issues. It's an easy read, to boot!

This one's worth reading, folks. It's one of my favorite books and I've read it several times.

Please feel free to keep spreading the word about my student book club and thanks again to everyone who has been so great in helping us out!

Great Day at Preschool (for Mom)

2008-09-08T19:12:00.001-07:00

Today I decided to go to work a little late and take Nova to preschool. My husband always does this. I wanted to see how things were. After all, it's my baby we're talking about. As a parent of an autistic child, my biggest worry is that Nova won't have friends. It's a fear that tears at my gut and brings me to sobbing fits when I think about it too much. I know many things about being on the spectrum could make other children wary of Nova. She doesn't always understand directions, she doesn't always understand that something isn't hers, she doesn't communicate well, etc.

Today though...man was I happy. We got there a bit early (20 minutes, and I'm pretty sure the teacher wasn't happy). Nova went to her hook to put her backpack and jacket. What??? She already has that down? I was elated.

Then it got better. She "signed in." She went to her picture on the wall and found her daily schedule. She took the first picture from the schedule and knew it meant for her to go to a certain center. She went there and did the activity. My baby??!!

I was so flippin' proud. She was following directions and totally getting communication. The activity was a hands on puzzle type of activity, which she loves, and she was totally engrossed. She got done and looked at everyone like, "Aren't you going to tell me how well I did?" It was SO GREAT!

Great Giveaway

2008-09-05T20:34:00.001-07:00

In honor of Maternity Week at An Ordinary Life I am trying to win a gorgeous Elliott Lucca Limited Edition handbag. It's not your ordinary purse either, this bag also can function as a diaper bag! Maternity Week starts September 13th and there will be tons of great prizes. (Including another big surprise!)
This Elliott Lucca bag is valued at $368.00 and is Limited Edition ONLY! Giveaway ends Sept. 24th

Student Book Club in Need of Help

2008-09-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

Something great happened today. We had our first book club meeting at school. Based on the past two years, I ordered books with the money I was allocated for 15 kids. Ummmm. I had 32 kids show up. :) This is awesome!

Unfortunately, I don't have nearly enough books. Please PLEASE folks, check your bookshelves. If you have any of the following titles and are willing to ship them to me (I know, I'm asking a reallllllly big DO FOR OTHERS this Thursday), then let me know and I'll give you my school address to send them. Our community is very small, so our public library holds only one copy of a book, if they have it at all.

Thank you so much. You have no idea how great it is that this many kids are wanting to read FOR PLEASURE.

Titles we'll be reading:

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes by Chris Crutcher
Shabanu: Daughter of the Wind by Suzanne Fisher Staples
My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
Dicey's Song by Cynthia Voigt
At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks

This week's BOOK RECOMMENDATION

2008-09-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

This week, I'd like you to give Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin a try. It's nonfiction but reads like a novel. It's a true story and was very controvercial in its time. Griffin actually changed his skin color and lived life as a black man to see how he was treated differently. It was first published in 1961 and it's amazing--truly changed how I saw some things.

You Mean Life ISN'T a Musical?

2008-08-31T20:58:00.001-07:00

Ok, I admit. I hadn't seen Mamma Mia! yet. I mean, I'd seen the live version and had the soundtrack for ages. But I didn't get to the movie until tonight. It was fan-tabulous. I couldn't believe that Remington Steele/007/Pierce Brosnan could sing! I was duly impressed. And that adorable Amanda Seyfried was awesome, she's got a real career ahead of her. Getting to things like that is tough. One-I have a toddler. Two-I have an autistic toddler and babysitters I trust are hard to come by. Three-Until it gets to my small town, I have to drive at least 35 minutes (usually 45 depending on where it's playing) to get to another movie theater.

Now I know why my husband always says, "You and your mom...you think life is a musical," in an amused way. Ummm. Yeah, so we like to sing. So we break out into song a lot. I have so very few talents, and this one just takes over once in a while. I've even had a couple of students write about it in essays about me (apparently I do it in class, too). But hey I think it's a good quality! I mean, how you can be unhappy or stressed when breaking out into song just because something said or seen makes you think of a song?

The only bad part---I had to return a pair of shoes to Wal-Mart that I picked up for my daughter. I could hear "Honey Honey" in my head (and no, I didn't sing out loud at Wal-Mart)---but the bad part was---

I just couldn't believe people didn't start dancing in the aisles as I walked by.

2008-08-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

In Memory of Todd Fletcher

February 15, 1961 - August 27, 2008

What we remember most about our friend Todd:

1. a Parrot on his shoulder

2. Marshall hat and tee

3. Navy dad

4. Michigan

5. guitar jam sessions

6. making up new lyrics to songs

7. Guitar Hero stories

8. Golf stories

9. too many "love you guys" to count

10. a good FRIEND

Book Recommendation

2008-08-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

This week's book recommendation is The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. This is a MUST READ! It's different than most things I read, but it really kept me hooked. We learn on page 1 that a teen has been murdered. The rest of the book is this teen watching her family and friends and trying to lead them to her killer. Truly amazing!

When Friends Hurt Us

2008-08-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

Ever since getting married and especially since I had my daughter, I've realized that friendships change and hell, I really don't have any. Which is ok in a way, I mean, when do I have time to hang out anyway? I'm lucky in that while I can never give "hang out time" to people, I still have people who aren't family that still love me and are there when I need them.

But it's been a long time since a friend hurt my feelings. It sounds so juvenile, but there's really no way to say it. And it stung. My heart hurt.

The thing about this happening when you're an adult is that unlike when you're a child or teen, it makes you really look at the person. The person was not who I thought they were. I looked up to them, I wished I was more like them, I was proud of how genuinely "good" they were. Now I feel like I didn't know them at all. That's a hurt in and of itself. My heart hurts.

Now, on the upside. The other thing I learned after having my daughter is that while it hurts, I'll be fine and my energies will once again be focused on her and I'll lose a piece of the hurt every day as I go about my life.

Funny how the problems we have as kids are really not that different than they are now that we are adults.

Just Another Monday???

2008-08-25T18:44:00.000-07:00

It was one for the record books. I got up early, got ready for work, and left myself enough time to get daughter dressed for her first day (!) of preschool. Got to work, had a billion things to prepare for classes. Got them ready, taught my classes. Everything was okay. We began reading Lord of the Flies today. Everything so far so good.

Talk to hubby at noon. Daughter went to preschool SO EXCITED. Left daddy's side no problem, was ready to go. Then daddy returned to a crying baby girl. No one's happy. Had to get hold of my father to have him help hubby move in our new furniture! (Ok, it's a year old, but it was my aunt's and it's like a 4500 dollar set that I paid 500 bucks for--ya can't beat that). And boy did we need it. We didn't even have a couch, we had two beat up recliners for a living room.

Sent email to preschool wondering why daughter went in excited and left in tears. No reply yet. Called friend whose boyfriend is terminally ill--checked up on the two of them. Called mom to see how terminally ill grandmother was today.

This is all before 1 pm, mind you.

Taught the rest of my classes. I totally deserve an academy award for my performance with my afternoon classes. I was so NOT IN THE MOOD--but I sure acted as if I was! Had a meeting after school. Ten minutes to cry to friend Kirstin about life before the meeting. Did so. Moved on.

Got home, picked up cookies for aunt's going away party--she's moving to Colorado tomorrow. Went to help decorate. Attended party. Ordered a pizza. Came home and fed family.

Took daughter to my grandma's. We try to visit briefly each day. And Lord help ya if you don't take the child with ya! :)

Now I'm home, hubby has daughter in the tub getting ready for night time rituals. It's OVER!

Now tomorrow...

Doing for Others Thursday

2008-08-21T09:25:00.001-07:00

School is beginning all over the United States. So many kids do not have adequate supplies. Get a couple of bucks and head to the Dollar General or some such place. Buy a couple of packs of pens, pencils, highlighters, or paper. Take them to a school near your home. Either give them to a teacher directly or take them to the front office. I guarantee no matter who you find, they will know students who never seem to have what they need for school. This could make a huge difference in someone's first days of a new school year.

Great Give A Way!

2008-08-20T20:12:00.001-07:00

Check out all the stuff you can win for back to school. Go now to http://www.themommiesunited.com/2008/08/back-to-school-its-family-affair.html. It's easy to enter!

BOOK RECOMMENDATION

2008-08-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

The book I'd like you to read this week is The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. I first read it in college for Dr. Calvin Thomas's class (one of the best teachers I've ever had). I've read it a couple of time since and it's just such an amazing story. It really makes you look at how society looks at beauty.

Professionalism: A Lost Art?

2008-08-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

Today was our first day back. No kids yet. Just teacher in-service. A few days ago, I found out that a colleague and myself were leading one of the meetings. So we got together, got ready, and had everything ready to go.

We got sort of interrupted a couple of times and it made me forget one of the things I had to tell the senior advisors. So I asked our principal to ask the group (about 9 teachers) to stay for 30 seconds after our large group meeting so I could tell them something. It wasn't a big deal, but something they needed to know so they'd be in the loop for later. Two of the teachers got up and left when we were dismissed. Myself and one of the teachers who DID stay kinda yelled, "Hey guys..." They turned around, looked at us, and the teacher said, "We gotta stay for just a second." And the two men walked away!

Are ya kiddin' me? These are professionals? And they teach our children? And we expect teenagers to act a certain way, yet we won't act that way ourselves? I was L I V I D.

Other than my daughter and my husband, teaching is my heart. I love what I do. I love young adults and the way their minds work. I even love how they think they know everything (I chuckle quite often in my job). So when I see that we have teachers in our schools who refuse to act with just plain decency, I get very angry.

It may have been different if I had done something in the past to offend these two men. But I have not. Or maybe it would be different if I was asking something above and beyond. I was not. All I asked for was 30 seconds. And the teenager with a small town Iowa attitude beats inside me when this happens. I wanna erupt. I don't. But boy do I want to.

I know professionalism is dying. I've seen it a lot of places. But we cannot allow it or accept it in our schools. It's the one place that professionalism should be at its best.

The Bra Blues

2008-08-15T22:40:00.000-07:00

It's back to school time. Need new bras. Lost a little weight this summer (not as much as I'd hoped, but it's a small start). Had to get a few things. I'm cheap. I don't like to spend a lot of money on clothes because I'm hard on them. Work: markers, high lighters, coffee. Home: milk, toddler crumbs, coffee. You know how it is. But I will spend the money on good bras. There's a problem, though. We've established I'm overweight. HOWEVER. Being overweight does not mean I'm a size DD. HELLOOOOOO out there. Make decent bras that are comfortable and big enough around with a damn C cup already!!!

Doing for Others Thursday

2008-08-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

This week, I'm doing something that I LOVE to do. Every year, I help out at our high school's nighttime marching band rehearsals. The kids rehearse for about three hours a few nights before school starts. I go and help kids with marching styles, being on count, etc. It's sooooo fun and lets me enjoy something I used to enjoy doing so much as a kid.

Find out what you can do to help out at the high school in your area. I know time is precious, but teens today need A LOT MORE positive adults in their life. I bet a reading teacher would love to have you work one-on-one with a student or a math teacher would help setting up interactive bulletin boards, etc. You will probably have to pass a background check, but it is no big deal and think of how much fun you could have!

BOOK RECOMMENDATION

2008-08-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm off on my recommendation days, and since I didn't do one last week, I thought I'd do this week's early. I really think every woman should read Jodi Picoult and I'm using My Sister's Keeper with my student book club this year.

I'd love to know what the book nerds out there (and I use that term lovingly, cuz I'm a big time book nerd) think of it. I'll let you know later what my students think when they read it.

Robyn's Giveaway

2008-08-10T21:11:00.001-07:00

Head over to Robyn's Blog and you could win a $50 Amazon.com gift card! There are a lot of ways to enter. Also, check out her other posts, she's got a great blog!

http://robynsonlineworld.blogspot.com/2008/08/giveaway-2-win-50-amazoncom-gift-card.html

Government Gaffaws

2008-08-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not proud to be a smoker. It just is. I have no problem with not being able to smoke in restaurants in Iowa. We don't smoke in restaurants and haven't since we had our daughter. But a bar??? Are ya kiddin' me? Not to mention that I work in one and I don't care what anyone says...it is hurting small town bar owners. It's kinda like seat belts. Do I think it's a good idea to wear them? Sure. Saves lives and all. But I don't like being told I have to.

Now, I'm all for the "health of the employees" thing in reality. But my mom works in a casino. I guess her health isn't important. Hmmm.

Here is a list of things that I think will be "monitored" in the future:

1. number of drinks a person can have in a bar
2. how many times i can change my student loans to another company through consolidation (oh wait! bush already took care of that for me---thanks george!)
3. how much money a school district can spend on one child, with or without disabilities or special needs (including gifted kiddos)
4. how many sodas a person can buy (i mean, c'mon we are the fattest country)
5. crystal meth (oh wait again! supposedly this is illegal and monitored--but each of my students knows how to get it if they want it)
6. television
7. internet usage
8. cell phone usage

ok so while we're at it, why don't we add:
1. number of children we can have and of what gender (yet many insurances still won't cover birth control)
2. how many cars/houses we can own (not that this will EVER concern me lol)
3. how many jobs we can work (cuz c'mon folks, you should be able to feed that family of 4 on 7 bucks an hour)
4. genetic testing--if you have the possibility of passing on ANYTHING negative...nope, sorry you can't have children
5. how much of our grocery bill can be spent on certain items
6. just giving cash each month to EXXON, cuz apparently we are anyway

Kumon Educational Workbooks

2008-08-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Kumon Educational Workbooks

Check out this great giveaway for educational workbooks! Head on over to mommafindings.blogspot.com and check it out.

Omaha Trip

2008-08-07T19:44:00.001-07:00

Recently, we traveled to Omaha, Nebraska to do the zoo thing. If you've never been...GO! Their zoo is awesome!

We also went to a commemerative WWII Air Force musuem which was incredibly interesting. They even took one of the huge planes out of the hangar and started it up for us. It was really cool. We also went to a railroad museum, called The Durham. My daughter actually got to go into a bunch of train cars and see how the different parts worked. It was a very kid friendly place.

Check out our photos!

We've got my hubby and daughter in front of one of the WWII planes, the Bengal Tiger, a bird I don't know the name of, and my daughter looking at the mokeys.

Countdown is on...

2008-08-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

It's August. Enough said.

I go back to work (at my "real" gig) on the 18th. Kids come on the 21st. Yup. Pretty excited.

I so love my job (well, the part where I get to teach and be with the kids and impart uh humm wisdom...many adults I could do without). But it's like an evil trick giving us this time away and then making us go back.

I don't wanna go back.

Not yet.

Between now and then, I have to do the following:

1. Pack for a trip that starts TODAY (I haven't begun packing and it's 9 am)
2. Go on said 2 day trip to Omaha to the Zoo
3. work at bar Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday
4. Write my syllabus
5. Finish creating presentation boards for Freshman Orientation
6. Create speeches for counselor and principal for Freshman Orientation
7. Go to Freshman Orientation
8. Get daughter's physical for preschool
9. Have home visit for preschool
10. Cry because I'll never get it all done

Stand up to Cancer

2008-08-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

On September 5, NBC, ABC, and CBS will be simultaneously airing a broadcast called Stand up to Cancer. It will be a fundraiser to help raise funds in the fight against and research for cancer treatment.

This is dear to me, but I'm sure it's dear to everyone. I can't think of anyone I know how doesn't know someone who has or has had cancer.

Christina Applegate (Married with Children) was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and will appear. The following are just some of the other guests that will appear: Jennifer Aniston, Hilary Swank, Sally Field, Meryl Streep, Lance Armstrong, David Cook, Christina Ricci, and Forest Whitaker.

I hope everyone will do what they can to help. It's a wonderful cause for a dreadful part of all of our lives. Please check out the website at: www.standuptocancer.org

Recession is a BIG DRAG

2008-08-02T20:00:00.001-07:00

Here's the deal, folks. Many use the blogs as their income. Not only do some sell product, but they earn their money through advertisers.

Take some time, check out the blogs that are listed to the right and then check out a few of the links listed on their sites.

While there, click on an ad or two if they have them. Each time someone clicks on these ads, the blogger is earning. To find out more, click the button to the right.

Thanks bloggers!

We have a WINNER!!!

2008-08-01T22:21:00.001-07:00

The winner of a DVD of the movie Freedom Writers starring Hilary Swank is...

LISA SHARP from Retro Housewife Goes Green

Congratulations, Lisa! I'll get that to you as soon as I hear from you.

Thank you to everyone who entered.

Doing for others Thursday

2008-07-31T07:42:00.001-07:00

This week's task is SO EASY. So many of you are readers so you have tons of paperbacks around the house somewhere that will never be read again. Pack 'em up and take them to your public high school or public library. Donations are wonderful! Many places use the books or use them in a book sale.

Book Recommendation

2008-07-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm a day late on the book recommendation. I could give you the lowdown on how busy my day was yesterday, but to be honest--I relaxed a good part of it. I was tired from working at the bar the night before!

This week, I'd like you to read Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. I must warn you, you cannot read this book without some emotional stuff going on. It's heavy, but so well written that you can't help but be mesmerized.

MY CARNIVAL GIVE A WAY

2008-07-30T07:00:00.001-07:00

This is a brand new, factory sealed copy of the movie The Freedom Writers starring Hilary Swank. All you have to do is tell me about a teacher who inspired you. As a teacher, I just LOVE to hear these stories! Let's have 'em! For a second chance, let me know you mentioned this giveaway on your blog and you'll have another entry.

I'll choose someone at random at the end of the day on Friday. Winner will be announced on Monday.

Wow! Give-a-ways!

2008-07-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

Check out these bloggy giveaways! Head over to Paula's and tell her I sent you to win her scrapbooking album! Go to: http://www.boogersandburps.blogspot.com/

Then head over to Laurie's and enter to win a COACH bag. Are ya kiddin' me? Do that here:

http://laviedelaurie.com/2008/07/28/enter-my-bloggy-giveaway-for-coach/

Then while you're at it, head on over to Kristen's and enter to win an MP3 and dig. cam.

http://www.wearethatfamily.com/2008/07/guess-who-will-love-riding-in-car-now.html or head over here to get a josh grobin CD from sarcastic mom. http://sarcasticmom.com/reviewsandgiveaways/?p=4

And don't forget the Disney gift card at http://dailymishmash.com/ and an Amazon.com giftcard from Robyn at http://robynsonlineworld.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-1st-giveaway-50-amazoncom-gift.html and another gift card from Mrs. Fay at http://wahmramblings.blogspot.com/2008/07/giveaway-yes-i-will-buy-some-love-if-i.html

Definitely check out the stroller giveaway at http://www.momdot.com/ and the school supplies at http://spookiez.blogspot.com/2008/07/its-time-for-another-bloggy-giveaway.html

Then you've got to head over to One Day at a Time and try to win her Mary Kay Satin Hands.
http://onedayatatime-laurie.blogspot.com/2008/07/tired-of-dry-hands.html

Girls Night Out

2008-07-27T16:59:00.001-07:00

Remember when you could be up all night, downing Rum and Cokes and then make it to your 8 o'clock class? I remember the days. I even remember a weird stint when I was 28 when I relived those days for a while (my youngest sister had moved in with me for a while and turned 21. Sadly, I thought I did too.)

Well, Saturday night my other sister and I got the husbands to stay with the kids and we were going to hit the town. Mind you, there's not much to do here so we were going to go to Des Moines, see Mama Mia! and get some great Mexican food at Monterrey. (It's on University...if you live nearby, eat there! It's fab!)

Well, we met up after my sister got her hair cut and colored. She looked GORGEOUS by the way. We decided we were too tired to leave town. So we go grab my mom and decide to take her for a drink at the bar I work out. Mind you, she has about 2 drinks per year...and only when we drag her out. So we have our drink. I couldn't even finish mine, geesh! We decide to go to the casino for dinner. We wait an hour for our food. (We ordered off the menu). So by then it's after 8. We decide to go hit the slots for a while.

Now, mind you--I'm cheap. I have to be a penny pincher with doctor bills adding up and other bills, you know how it is. But I decide--hey, mom picked up the tab for dinner and if we'd gone to Des Moines for dinner and a movie, it would have easily cost me 30 bucks. So I allow myself 20 to play the slots. I lost it, but I actually felt okay about it since it was worth an hour and a half of entertainment.

So at 9:30 I run into sister and mom and they're like, "Tell me you're ready." And of course I am. Our big girls night out and we're all wiped by 9:30!! What has become of us??? This is a rhetorical question, of course. What has happened to us is work, kids, households, volunteering, paying bills, doctor visits, taking care of grandma, taking care of husbands (I mean, c'mon. They can't do some things correctly!), dishes, laundry, etc. Cheers to getting old!

Friday Woes

2008-07-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

Things I got done this week:

1. Myself and some students volunteered at the high school (making presentation boards for all the clubs in school for Freshman Orientation)

2. Took daughter to summer school each day

3. Worked out each day (Seriously, I did. It's okay to be in shock!)

4. Worked 2 nights at the bar

5. Did some laundry (still behind)

6. Watched all of season 9 of Friends (I know, I know. I can't help it)

7. Called to find out what I can donate to the family in town who needs help

8. Took huge bag of toys to the Cross Ministries donation center

9. Returned pop cans to redemption center

10. Sent a letter to a former student who is serving in Iraq

Things I was supposed to get done this week and did not:

1. Laundry (ummm...the rest of it)

2. Clean house (specifically, the living room and daughter's room. It looks like a My Little Pony factory exploded)

3. Write my syllabus for classes this year

4. Purchase and deliver items from #7 in above list (WILL do on Monday)

5. Cut back on my carbohydrates. Ok, so I've lost 7 lbs. but know I'll lose better and faster if I quite eating crap.

Ok, so the "got done" list is longer than the "didn't get done" list. That's positive. But I'm telling you, getting my fat a** to work out every day is a huge accomplishment. And yes, I feel better after I've done it. So why is it so hard to get there? Oh yes. Because my three year old has been getting up at 4 a.m. nightly WIDE EYED and ready to go.

This week's book recommendation

2008-07-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

This week's book recommendation is Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher. It's actually a young adult book, but man can everyone benefit from reading it! It makes you look at race and racism, loyalty, education, and what we do for the people we care about it. Go get it today!

This week's helping others: Rally around local family

2008-07-24T07:23:00.001-07:00

A tragedy struck my hometown recently. A fire took the life of a 13 year old autistic boy. The mother has four children still living at home and one on the way.

I did not know this boy, but remember seeing him in the hallway at school. He was not old enough to be in my class yet. He was "mainstreamed" all day long and seemed to be doing well socially.

Here is the story from the local paper. At the end are contact numbers if you'd like to donate money or goods for the family.

http://www.osceolaiowa.com/articles/2008/07/24/breaking_news/01news.txt

Kansas City Pictures

2008-07-22T10:30:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned--I forgot the digital cam when we went on our mini-vacation. Big surprise. But I got our disposable cams developed and here are some of the highlights.

The Potty Problem

2008-07-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

I knew I wouldn't get to post in the morning, as I have to make the bar deposit, work out (yup, been going daily for a week now...can you BELIEVE IT???), take and pick up daughter from preschool and then go into work from 2:30 pm til 2 am.

But something's been really getting to me...the potty problem. My daughter is not yet potty trained. And this is not for lack of trying. We sit her on the chair and "key potty" times, we let her run around naked and then try to throw her on the chair when she starts to pee. (This hasn't worked so far, by the way. I swear she waits to pee when I've got my hands full of laundry or when I'm loading the dishwasher). I've read the books to her while sitting her on the potty.

She doesn't get it.

Our autism team (as I refer to our AEA reps that help my daughter--and who I must say are awesome and have helped us a lot) says to keep reading the book to her. Ummmm. Yeah. Not so much. I don't know about you parents with autistic children, but my daughter has NEVER sat long enough for me to read to her. We have yet to get into page three of a book. She would rather point to things and have me tell her what they are. So the book...well...doesn't really work for us.

I'm scared she'll never get it. Even in preschool, I hate that she has to wear a diaper. She's already different enough from the other kids. I don't want more reasons for kids to shun her. (As a parent, my biggest fear is that she won't have friends). So what to do???

We even went and bought the fancy potty. It sings when you pee and says "up" and "down" when you lift and shut the lid. Very high tech potty here. Yeah. So...umm..she'd rather lift the lid up and down than sit on it. I don't know what else to try.

Then there are those rude people who chastise me for having her in diapers. I'm talking strangers here. It's happened at the lake and at the grocery store. I get so upset. And I'm not proud of this, but sometimes I wonder if I'm more upset that they're saying something bad about my daughter or that they're criticizing my parenting skills. Ugh! Help!

This is a cry out to all parents! Give me your tips! Please!

An easy one

2008-07-17T21:17:00.001-07:00

Here's an easy task this week, bloggers! Do your fellow bloggers a favor and check out their blogs. Then, check out blogs that they recommend. You might find that you're missing out on something cool!

Also, check out pjmomof3boys' blog, she's got a contest going!

www.boogersandburps.blogspot.com

Book recommendation

2008-07-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

This week's book recommendation is Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. I just finished it and OH MY GOODNESS. It's a TOTALLY different kind of love story. It shows us the kind of person we all hope we can be, but few ever can be. Definitely worth reading.

Oh the price we pay

2008-07-15T20:26:00.001-07:00

Modern cynics and skeptics... see no harm in paying those to whom they entrust the minds of their children a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom they entrust the care of their plumbing. ~John F. Kennedy

How true is this????

In a school year, not only do I get paid ridiculously, (especially when paying back student loans and having a trillion dollars in doctor bills for daughter and hubby), but I spend money to do my job well. In a given school year, I may buy:

1. crayons, markers, highlighters for projects
2. colored paper (many school districts quit supplying this, saying it costs too much)
3. rewards for grades or behavior
4. food for "togetherness time"
5. an item from each group's fundraiser (this adds up super quickly)
6. extra copies of books for book club (last year I had enough funds to buy 14 of each book but had 20 girls join the group)
7. a notebook or two for kiddos who honestly can't afford one
8. bottled water and snacks for kiddos who forgot/don't have lunch money
9. books from series. when the school buys the first 3 or so books in a series, the kids get hooked and then want to read the rest of them
10. 2 school shirts for "spirit day" on Fridays
11. entry into sports events, plays, recitals, etc. to show support to my students

Good teachers are typically happy to do it. And I am. (a good teacher and happy to do it). But it adds up. I was told about a website, teachers, to check out. I haven't done so yet, so if you get the chance, let me know what you find. The website is ILoveSchools.com

Small Town Life

2008-07-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

Things I love about a small town:

1. People say hi to you on the street

2. People wave at you when you meet them on highway 69, if you know them or not.

3. People are super supportive. Help is available if you can ask for it (and sometimes if you don't)

4. My monthly book club meeting.

5. My parents and sister and her family are here.

6. Occasionally, an old friend comes back to visit...that's fun.

7. You don't spend that much on gas, because you only drive within a five mile radius.

What I miss about the city:

1. You can go to the grocery store in pjs and with bad hair and no makeup. Chances are you won't see anyone you know.

2. Shopping for said groceries at 3 am.

3. Cultural events. Cinco De Mayo, the Theater, the Symphony

4. Pro basketball.

5. Pro anything.

6. More resources for children.

7. Spending a billion dollars on gas because you drive 30 miles to work and still haven't left the city. (sense the tone)

The small town has given us what we needed now...why do I miss the city so much???

Kansas City...Kansas City here we...

2008-07-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

We came. We went.

Know what's worse than traveling with a 3 year old for 3 hours? Traveling with a 3 year old with allergies for 3 hours. Poor thing. We loaded up my daughter into the mini-van early Saturday morning, then drove the 4 blocks to my sister's house. We then helped her load up a 3 year old, an 8 month old, and her assorted strollers, coolers, etc. (Her hubby is working out of St. Louis right now, so he was meeting us in KC and then sister was following him back to spend a few weeks with him and the kids).

We drive. I-35 is really not all that interesting. I tried to enjoy the scenery, but to no avail. I wasn't in the mood. So I pulled out my book and read. All the while, little feet pushing into my back (daughter is strapped in behind me) and little sneezes are coming from within her.

We reach our hotel with no problems (except I'm pretty sure there was an easier way to get there than the internet directions we got). We waited for brother-in-law to show and then checked in. Two separate rooms THANK GOODNESS. Can you imagine TWO 3 year olds in one room all night? Ugh!

Why did we do all of this, you might ask? We were taking the kids to....duh duh duh....Worlds of Fun. The best part? It rained all the way down and was pouring when we got there. Great start. We watch the weather for a while. It doesn't look good. We don't want to take little ones in the rain. Not good parenting. An 8 month old? She'd be miserable.

So we go to lunch. At one point, I turn to brother-in-law and say, "If we drove all the way to Kansas City to go out to eat, I'm gonna be so mad." What did you do this weekend? Me? Oh I drove to Kansas City to eat. Seriously.

After lunch (an interesting task with two toddlers and a baby), we go outside. Still raining. We head back to the hotel rooms. These were great rooms, by the way, at the Hyatt Place. Great hotel. We're usually an econo-lodge kind of family but the rooms were about the same price, so what the heck? We wait. I look outside. Not sun...but not rain either. Let's go!

So we drive to Worlds of Fun. We get lost. I was the navigator. Woops.

The kids had a BLAST. We rode motorcycles and lady bugs and a school bus and all kinds of things. A good time was had by all. I only had to get into it with one employee. Let's just say if you don't like kids and you would rather talk on your cell phone and do your hair and make-up, maybe working the kiddie part of an amusement park isn't for you. (it was bigger than that--my kid almost got hurt because of her, but my blood pressure is going up just mentioning it so i'll let it go).

We ate candy, we won teddy bears. Kids were happy. All in all, great trip. Minimal problems...weather and evil employees aside. Oh and guess what? I have no pics yet. Someone (ummm...me) forgot the digital camera, so we had to get a disposable and they're not ready yet. Did I mention woops? (Why is it always mom who forgets things and does things wrong?)

Oh yeah...cuz we have everything to do :)

Gearing Up...

2008-07-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

It's mid-July.

I'm a bit depressed.

Wanna know why?

School starts in just over a month.

Lesson plans, endless in-service meetings that get us nowhere, going from un-airconditioned room to unairconditioned room (I don't have a class room, I have to take over other peoples' rooms when they are on their prep. period). Ugh.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job teaching 10th grade English. I'm good at it. It's the first time in my life I really feel like I'm GOOD at something. But I have to be honest, I don't want to go back in August. It's the same every year.

It's so hard gearing up after time away. Yes, I worked another job this summer (2 if you count teaching summer school for 2 weeks), but bartending wasn't every day and I still had DOWN TIME. Ok, not down time in the real sense. But at least I got to take my daughter to school every day and got to take her swimming and stuff like that. Now, I'll be on someone else's schedule all the time, I'll hardly see my family, and let's face it...I'm just TIRED.

This doesn't make one excited about endless meetings, hard to work with colleagues, or organizing Freshman Orientation which I still have to do in the next 3 weeks.

The answer? Suck it up. I gotta do it. And really, once I'm with the kids and doing my thing, it's okay. I guess schools need to stop having these 3-4 days of meetings before the kids come, because it just sets a bad tone.

How much you wanna bet we can never change THAT? Thank you No Child Left Behind for adding so many meetings and in-services.

Do Unto Others

2008-07-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, trying to find the time and energy to do something for someone else can be tough. At times, you moms especially, we feel like, "Can't someone do something for me???" So today's challenge is to go do something for yourself. Even if it's as small as going OUT for a cup of coffee (don't worry if you have no one to go with...I do this alone with a good book). If you're cheap and pinching pennies like me, take two bucks to Goodwill or Dollar General and buy something silly or a fabulous scented candle. Dollar General actually has some GREAT cherry and applie pie candles right now.

C'mon, moms--do for yourself. Then tell me all about it!

You know what Wednesday means

2008-07-09T08:43:00.001-07:00

This week, I'd like you to give The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom a try. This book will really make you look at your life, the good and bad, and put it into perspective. I recently recommended it to one of my high school students and she returned it to me with a note, "You HAVE to tell other people to read this book...it is amazing!!" It's a very quick read, but powerful.

How'd y'all do with the Anita Shreve book?

Oof! Damn that keyboard!

2008-07-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

I tripped over it once again...the red hard plastic musical keyboard with like four piano keys on it. I put it away, ticked off that I have now hit my sore toe...again. Then I think, "Why put this one away when twenty more toys are on the floor?" I know this should be my motivator to pick up all the toys. Then I sigh, get a glass of iced tea and remind myself that in ten minutes, they'll all be back out on the floor again. At least, I guess, I'm not tripping over the 1273 animals we have because my daughter is obsessed. I'm pretty sure 881 of those are horses.

Whenever I pictured my future home (when I was younger), I never pictured living in a house that looks like dorm room because why spend money on anything nice when it's just going to be trashed in no time.

I guess this doesn't help explain the dishes I need to do or the laundry that's piling up.

Guess you know what I'm doing today, don't you? Wish me luck!

Independence Day

2008-07-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

Fourth of July fun? Yeah it was okay. Our town parade lasts entirely too long--I mean, when there is only one new car dealership in town, do they really need to have like 15 new cars in the parade doing nothing other than being a new a car? And I'm all for churches and politicians alike having their floats and passing out candy...but do not pass out your literature to me. I'm trying to enjoy the morning with my daughter, getting candy and clapping at the high school band...not trying to be saved or swayed to vote. There's a time and a place.

But here's the kicker of the day...

We're with a large group at the parade---I'd say 20 adults, give or take a few, and probably 7 or 8 little ones. I was very proud of the little ones, too. They made sure that everyone got candy and shared things very nicely, even making sure kids who weren't in our party were getting things too. When my daughter saw the first batch of candy being thrown out, she thought they dropped it and exclaimed, "Oh Noooooo!" It was super cute.

About 10 minutes into the parade, an 18 year old who just graduated from high school came to sit with his folks that were beside us. Great. Family time. Good for you. But said 18 year old dashed for all the candy and Frisbees and stuff. C'mon. An 18 year old??? Are you kidding me?

After about 10 minutes of it (and in these ten minutes, I'm watching all the adults around us get madder and madder and the kids get sadder and sadder), I parked my fat butt up beside him and beat him to the punch. Then I'd throw it down in front of our group of kids and let them have at it, and again...they shared not only with each other but with other kids who were getting beaten out BY AN EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD. I don't know which was worse...the 18 year old doing it or the parents of said 18 year old who didn't think anything of it.

I teach high school. And ya know, I gotta tell you...I'm afraid. Very afraid. Not for me. For our future. Not because "all kids are so bad." I'm afraid because of the sense of entitlement. I see it every single day. I'm afraid for how they've been taught to "stick up for themselves." Being assertive when necessary is one thing, but they think if they don't like how something is going, they have a "right" to fight against it. Sometimes in life, you just have to do accept and do. At school, I hear all the time, "it's my right to..."

My reply....

"You, my dear, are a minor. You have a right to a free education and right to not be abused. These are your ONLY rights."

Usually it works. But then they turn 18 and fall right back into, "my rights."

Well, I'll worry about your rights when you can't hold a job because you're so busy arguing with bosses over "your rights."

Doing for others Thursday

2008-07-03T08:05:00.001-07:00

Today's very simple. I'm taking a huge bag of clothes and a huge box of toys to our local junk shop. (Cross Ministries--it's like Goodwill, but run by a group of churches or something). It helps them with inventory and helps me get rid of the clothes that I'm fooling myself into thinking I'll fit into again...plus they're really cute so someone will buy them! :)

Go ahead, folks. Clean out the closets. Go to Goodwill, drop them off. It's nice to clear out the clutter!

wednesday means get a good book!! (book 4)

2008-07-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

This week's book choice is Light on Snow by Anita Shreve. I just finished it and man was it good! I'm not giving anything away by telling you that it begins by a father and daughter (who lost the wife/mother and daughter/sister in a car accident previously) finding an abandon baby. It preludes a lot of events and a lot of healing. It's an amazing story. Go check it out!

Why won't they give it up?

2008-06-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

We all know what it's like when the toddler won't take their nap. They just will not GIVE IT UP and LET GO! My daughter's never been good about her naps, she really doesn't require a lot of sleep (like momma) but sometimes it's incredibly necessary.

My grandmother recently came into town, staying with my parents. We made the trek (a good 2.5 miles) over to my folks' place to see her. My daughter was her sparkling self for about the first 20 minutes. Cute, showing off her words, giving high fives, being overall incredibly entertaining. Then it HIT. Stumbling, whining, not letting go of the fact that it's too windy to play outside.

And when I mean not letting go, boy do I mean not letting go. Hanging from the door handle, literally. (Mind you my folks just put in a new door--and I know it wasn't cheap--glass door, fancy screen that folks' dog ruined days after it was put in). Kicking at the floor, screaming, "GO! GO!"

Now, normally when this happens, I'd pack her up and take her home and to bed. But here's the thing. I'm thinking if I do this, she's going to think we're going outside to play and I will never get her in the mini-van. (Yup I'm a total mini-van mama--I love it, it's the best car I've ever had. So much easier to get kid in and out of). I can pick her up, of course, but when she's like this, I know it means kicking violently and then I get it in the gut and have to put her down anyway.

So we distract her with the My Little Pony coloring book and crayons and this works for a while. Then grandma gives her a cookie. Oh no! It's the kind with M&Ms in it! Ugh! She digs out the said candy coated chocolates. It takes me three baths to get that crap out from under her fingernails. (I keep telling grandma to quit buying them, but am waved away with, "but she loves them.") So much for that.

Finally, I take her home. I get all the necessities for nap time ready for her (favorite blanket, pillow, etc.) I get her down. I kiss her and shut the door. I turn on the tv. I can actually watch something I want! I am still flipping channels when....she walks out of the bedroom.

The child is not going to sleep...she's wide awake and ready to roll. Are you kidding me???

Not Always Great

2008-06-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

I was warned in the world of autism, that we'd have a lot of highs and lows with our daughter. Being the hyper-sensitive that I am, this worried me. Today reminded me why.

I went to a training on working with kids with autism and asperger syndrome. Great, proactive parent (and teacher). Not great, I left feeling pretty depressed.

Yes, I got some interesting strategies to try. Yes, I got titles of books to go find that might help me as both parent and teacher.

But man...some of the case studies and especially a video...really bummed me out. Not one of the kids they interviewed or showed on the video had friends! It terrified me. Some of them even vocalized feelings like, "When we were all little, I had friends. In preschool and kindergarten, people talked to me and played with me. Now, if people talk to me, it's mean and laugh at me a lot."

Ok. I am around teens all day. I KNOW how they are. But this really hit home for me and it scares me to death of my daughter. Everyone in this world wants to fit in somewhere. I've always known I might have to move for her education. Now I'm wondering if we'll need to move so she can be around other kids like her. What are the answers? At one point in the video, I had to go out into the hallway because I knew I was going to start sobbing.

How do you other parents deal with this? I love my daughter with all of my heart and more, but I know her dad and I won't be enough for her. Have you found social outlets for your kids? Please let me know.

Do For Others Thursday

2008-06-26T16:43:00.000-07:00

When I was in college, I had this ridiculous part time job in the mall. I got about 12-15 hours per week. It was tough finding part time work in the area, as the college was a huge percentage of the town's population.

I remember I had 11 bucks in my checking account. This had to feed me for a week and put gas in my car. I am sure I had some food at my apartment (Thank God for mom and dad loading me up with groceries whenever I came home).

My boss calls before I was due into work and tells me to bring donuts and juice in when I come, because the big wigs from corporate were there. Ugh. She was always telling us to do stuff like this, saying she'd pay us for it when we got there, and then would tell us she had no cash but would bring it in the next time we worked. It never seemed to appear.

But, I need the stupid job so I go to buy the donuts and juice. I'm waiting in line and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to live on the 5 bucks I'll have left. I get up to be rung up, and the kid says my total is six dollars and something. I go to write the check and he says, "The man that was two ahead of you left me ten bucks to pay for your groceries."

WHAT??? Do I actually LOOK as destitute as I feel??? I'm clean, my clothes look nice for work, my hair and make up are done.

No, it was just a really nice man. He was long gone by the time I was helped, so I never got to thank him. What a wonderful person. I wish I knew who he was.

So that's my good deed story for this week. What can you do this week to help another person???

Wednesdays is book day! (book 3)

2008-06-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

Today's book suggestion is A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines. MUST READ!

What do you do for fun?

2008-06-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

We do a lot of things with our daughter that are a blast. This summer we've been lake swimming twice, grilled out several times, swim daily in our yard inflatable baby pool, to the zoo, etc. But what do you adults do for fun?

For me, it's always the simpler the better. Tonight after class, I met up with four friends for a girls' supper. We met at a great place, had great food and just caught up. For me, this is the ultimate fun because time is so precious that I rarely get to do it. I love being one of the girls for a couple of hours--with no kiddo worries, no work worries, no life worries.

I also stopped by Half Price Books while I was there and spent a whopping 3 bucks and got 2 books to read. This is the ULTIMATE fun for me. I'm cheap, so I hate spending money on books, but for 3 bucks, I can pamper myself for a few days until I'm done with them. :)

But here's the kicker. Moms, I bet you've felt this a million times. I work hard. I work my A** off, matter of fact! So why do I always feel so guilty for spending the three bucks? Or the 17 that dinner cost me? I also got a pedicure...that was 30 bucks. Sounds frivilous. But do you know the last time I did any of those things??? Let's see...I bought a book about a month ago. (Huge fan of libraries and garage sales for books). I did go out to lunch a week ago, but only because I had a gift certificate. So before that, I probably hadn't spent money in a restaurant for months, and a pedicure??? I know exactly when it was. One year ago. I had one the last time I took a class, which was this time last summer.

Do I feel I deserve these extravagances once in a while? Rationally, yes. It's not like I do it often and trust me when I remind you that I'm cheap. Why do we moms feel so guilty about it? To be honest, I blame my mother (in a good way). The woman never bought new clothes, never went out with friends, never went to movies. She did this so my sisters and I could have everything we needed (and most of what we wanted). I also blame doctor bills. They are our biggest challenge (and college loans).

How 'bout you, Moms? Does this bother you? How do you balance it and still find time and the wits to do things for yourself?

Language Acquistion

2008-06-22T18:24:00.001-07:00

I'm working on my reading endorsement in the state of Iowa, so that I can teach high school reading classes as well as language arts/English. Did I want to do this? Nope. But I have to in order to keep my job so ya do what ya gotta do. (I don't think they'd actually fire me, but it's just easier to do what they tell ya to do sometimes). The first three classes I had to take were okay. They could actually relate to me as a high school teacher. Then there was this language acquisition class. Man did I dread it. I put if off until last.

Someone was watching out for me, though. I started these courses before my daughter was diagnosed with autism, so when I was choosing to put it off--I had no idea that I would be taking the class right when my daughter would be learning language. She's three now--two years ago when I started this endorsement, I had no idea that her language would be delayed. Now I'm taking the class at a time when I might actually learn something to help my daughter.

If any of you are teachers, you know that you have to take a lot of classes and a lot of workshops that are (how do I say delicately?) CRAP. I always try to go in with an open mind and just take from each of them what I can that relates to me and my classroom. So the idea of actually being able to use something to help my own child? That's VERY unusual!

So class starts tomorrow (Monday) which is why I'm posting tonight. Hopefully I'll learn something new and useful. Don't think about the fact that I'm totally not prepared, as I spent today chasing daughter at grandma's house in and out of the baby pool for two hours as hubby and grandparents cleaned out the gutters. I even forgot to pick up a notebook when I was at Wal-Mart today :)

Parents of children with autism...tell me how communication and language is going/has gone for your child. I'd love to share stories and find out what is helping our kids.

Trip to the Zoo

2008-06-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

I had to work last night until late, so everyone was sleeping when I got home. Do I love this? Sometimes, heck yes! I got spend a little alone time with a book before going down for the count myself. I awoke at 7 am to daughter saying, "Milk, milk." So I know these means that she just woke up and hubby has gone fishing (something he does every single morning that I don't have to be somewhere).

So I get up to get a cup of milk for daughter and hubby calls, saying we should take daughter to the zoo today. Now, I'm not raggin' on the zoo in the area. It's fine. But after living in San Antonio (where they have a magnificent zoo) and taking daughter to Omaha Zoo (which just plain ROCKS), this one seems...well...tiny. Which is ok, because daughter is REALLY into animals right now and it's about her and I think it's a great idea. Go hubby!

So we went this morning. It was good. Started out a bit rocky, as daughter spilled her juice all over the car seat and it looked like she wet herself. I promise she didn't! Daughter kept asking for bear, which disappointed her when there were none. She did say "hee-haw" to all the donkeys and *trumpet sound* to the baby elephant and "meow" to the lions and "grrrr" to the tigers (why tigers are more fierce than that huge male lion, I'll never know).

I try to take daughter as many places as I can. I know she needs these experiences. Part of me can't help but look at other kids her age and wonder if she'll ever catch up. And if she doesn't...that's okay. Autism is a weird monster, because she looks completely, 100% "normal" (and I know I'm the mom, but daughter is GORGEOUS)...so people sometimes judge a little bit. Yes, my 3 year old still has to wear pull ups, yes, my 3 year old gets ooed and aawed over when she makes animal sounds. But she's making connections! I want to scream at everyone, "Hey! My kid just meowed at a lion! She gets it!"

doing for others thursday

2008-06-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

Installment two of doing for others. I got to thinking about this, and was trying to think of things that would help out the people I see on a daily basis.

When you take the kids to the pool, take your neighbor's or friend's kids as well--just once--to give mom a break.

Donate sports equipment to your local YMCA or Boys and Girls Club. (They also like board games, puzzles, etc. to be donated there too).

Contact your local high schools and middle schools and see if they have a mentor program. Become one if they do. Trust me when I tell you that teens and young adults need positive role models now more than ever.

Good Luck. Everyone please go out this week and do something to help someone else. Then come back and tell me about it. It can be super small or super big. I'd love to see what we're all doing!

wednesday means get a good book!! (book 2)

2008-06-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

This week's book is another favorite that I have read several times. The title is The Pilot's Wife by Anita Shreve. It was also an Oprah book and I just loved it.

Also, I'm in a book club so if anyone ever wants titles of things to read, give me a shout. We read about a book a month and then meet to discuss it. We take turns picking books, so we've got a good variety.

stay calm, stay cool

2008-06-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

Deep breaths. You are not an angry person. You don't really want to hit this woman, even though you picturing it over and over in your mind, kind of like on that show Ally McBeal when Ally would see things happen that weren't.

What's causing this distress, you ask? You all know someone like her. The BRAGGART. OH MY GOD! Shut up! I don't care that your daughter is a math genius. I highly doubt you're a member of MENSA (and who cares, I can send a check and take the test too--what's that prove?), and I doubt that neither of your precious daughters ever drank, smoked, or had sex in high school!

I know, I sound petty...but please, oh lord please. Let's all learn a lesson from this woman! I love my daughter, you know I do. But if I ever get the holier than though tone when talking about her--you all have my permission to let me know.

That's not to say that we can't brag on our kids some--it's normal and exciting to talk about how our kids are learning and growing. But I live in the REAL WORLD, where kids make mistakes, make messes, and fall in love when they're 16 and do things we wish they wouldn't. (which reminds me...we teach no protection sex ed at this school I work in--let's put pools in all of our yards, but tell our kids we won't teach them to swim safely).

OK, I think I've at least replaced the image of me pummeling this woman to death out of my mind. Well....I can't help it if it's replaced by the image of her in that pool, naked, with all the neighbors pointing and laughing.

Thursdays = things you can do to help others

2008-06-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, a friend of mine was in a funk. Ok, maybe more than that...we're bordering on some pretty serious depression here. Having some huh-hummm experience in that area, I told her the one thing that ALWAYS makes me feel better and puts things in perspective for me is helping other people. I know it sounds cliche, but seriously, it WORKS. Not only do you feel better for doing it, but you see how happy it can make others. PLUS, when you start doing things like that for others, people in general start being nicer to you--maybe even doing little thigns for you, too. That's the one selfish part, and of course you don't expect it, but when it happens it makes you realize that you're worth kindness and sometimes we all need to be reminded of that.

I don't want to sound like I'm braggin' on myself, so I'm not going to go into stories of things I have done, but I'll share some things others have done for me. This picture was taken at the fundraiser that my very good friend and colleague had for my daughter. As you can imagine, her doctor bills are outrageous and if you didn't know...autism is NOT something health insurance covers...and I mean any health insurance...nationwide...not covered. He had his son DJ a small, middle of the day, dance at school. It was great. My daughter came and danced with the big kids and had a bawl. You can see her dancing in the background there. He raised us a lot of money and I am forever grateful.

Another example is that three teens (sons of before mentioned colleague, btw) mow my lawn. I don't even have to call. They keep an eye on it and just come over and do it when it needs to be done. Needless to say, this is wonderful as a professional service costs a fortune and with our doctor bills, we couldn't afford a new mower when we needed one (we have a very big yard). Of course, I slip them a little cash, but nothing like what the value of them doing this is. They are amazing boys and always make me feel cared about, not to mention the fabulousness of having the yard taken care of without worry.

Other things you can do to help others:
take an older neighbor to the store
watch a stay at home mom's kids for a few hours so she can get out
take a few of the cans from your cupboard to a local food bank or meal site
sand bags!!!

More ideas next Thursday. I challenge each of you to try one!

wednesday means get a good book!!

2008-06-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

Okayyyy it's Wednesday! Book recommendation time. This week's recommendation, for those who have never read it is The Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck. I'm ashamed to say that I just read it for the first time (I mean, c'mon whoever heard of an English major NOT reading it) but it was amazing. I finally see why Oprah picked the book for her book club a couple of years ago.

If you've read it, give me your thoughts. Otherwise, go to the library and check it out--worth the read. I'd love to hear what you think.

I won't say anything about it yet until I've heard what yout think. New book title next week!

The picture is one of my former students showing off all the books he read in a semester. This was also back when I had a classroom *sigh*

famous people with autistic traits

2008-06-10T19:09:00.000-07:00

My daughter is not what my mind first went to when they said "autism." She is happy, hugging, sweet, and funny. She does not rock back and forth. She does not hit her head on things. She does have definite characteristics, don't get me wrong. Her speech is incredibly limited. Communication is very hard for her. She would rather be alone than with kids her age. She is SUPER into organization (lines up things by color quite often). She would rather figure out how something works than play with it as it is intended.

I've spent MANY hours researching autism and have found that some very famous people have autistic traits...here are a few. These people may be on the autism spectrum, just have characteristics, or are just unique and cool to the rest of us :)

Isaac Newton

John Denver

Franz Kafka

George Bernard Shaw

Mark Twain
Vincent VanGogh

Jim Henson

Andy Kaufman

Charles Shultz

Andy Warhol

Woody Allen

Bob Dylan

Bill Gates

Al Gore

John Nash

Keanu Reeves

I think my daughter is in good company :)

you've got to see it to believe it

2008-05-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

remember the girls in middle school who packed make-up and what we then considered more revealing clothes in a bag and ran into the bathroom before school? they came out *voila* a new and "improved" girl.

i miss those days. i don't have a classroom at my school, so i teach English a la carte. I push a cart around from empty room to empty room taking over other teachers' space while they have their off period. when i walk from class to class, i have to, of course, see teenagers.

now, first of all, i LOVE teaching. it's in my heart, truly. but please, oh please, why why why do these girls think they look good in the clothes they now wear? i remember when i was younger, thinking i'd never be old and uncool--i'd always keep up with fashion and popular music. well, hell i threw out pop music a few years ago when i realized i was happier throwing my CDs in the player in my van than i was listening to radio stations. i'd much rather hear some indigo girls, dave matthews, or depeche mode than bump and grind played at 50 decibals. but ok, i'm old, i admit, and i digress...

back to the clothes. i do not want to see butt cheeks on anyone other than my daughter when i'm bathing her. i do not want to see girls' boobs popping out of their spaghetti strapped tank tops, that don't reach their stomach. seriously, do they think this looks good? i honestly don't get it. when they see girls dressed like this on tv (and ya know, they watch some really high-brow stuff: tila tequila, rock of love, some crap with flava flav (and what is that 4 dollar plastic clock all about anyway?), and X effect), do they think to themselves "wow. that makes her look really classy. i bet if i dress like that, people will take me seriously, i'll get a nice boyfriend, and be able to really focus on learning something while i'm at school." ????

i want to put up a banner in the hallway that says: life doesn't usually work out like it did for erin brokovich.

3 is the new 2

2008-05-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe I missed the memo. Maybe I missed the episode of Dr. Phil. But why did I not know that the terrible twos were NOTHING compared to the thwarting threes??? at two, my daughter never threw fits. she was pretty content with whatever was going on. now? lord have mercy. when she wants to go outside, she wants to go NOW. when she's ready to go home, she's ready to go NOW. now, part of this relates to her autism. she is just really learning how to communicate--and i'm soooooooooo happy about that. and i know she gets frustrated when she can't tell me what she wants. but sometimes, my darling angel...no means no. but here's a story for you that just done pissed me off!

we're at walmart. one of my daughter's autistic traits is that she loves to collect things. why have one or two when i can have eight or nine? she loves to line them up and move them from place to place. and oh yeah...she always lines them up by color. so one of her passions right now is my little pony. great, cuz they're about three bucks a shot. so when she deserves a reward, we go pick out a pony that we don't have yet. my husband and i also had a few other things to pick up (ya know, shampoo, Tide, toilet paper). we get to the check out line, and hand over the pony. ok, yikes! you've all been there. kid freaking out while it gets scanned cuz they want that damn little three dollar pony SOOOOOOOOOO BAD. now, i know we have to teach patience. i'm not foolish, but i also know that there are times that the fit isn't worth the lesson at that particular moment. i say, hand her the pony after you scan it, so we can all go about this transaction pleasantly. what do you care, you get my money?! so the lady looks at her and says, "i'm not giving this back to you until you sit down (she was in the basket of the cart) and stop bawling." OMG!!!!! I was HOT! First of all, I don't teach my child with blatant sarcasm and trying to reason with a 3 year old is like hitting your head against the sliding doors at the store while they are opening and closing. are you kidding me?

so i reached over, took the pony (never touched the woman) and said, "how i raise my child is of no concern of yours. does she look healthy? did she seem happy before you took the pony? that's all you need to know."

i got home and stewed for a good hour or so. i mean i was ANGRY. so i called the store manager. told him all about it. went on to tell him that part of my daughter's problem is that she can't say, " I want the pony." Then I told him, "HOWEVER...it's no business of hers." This may be a small town, but I'll be damned if some old lady at the local walmart is going to talk to my kid that way.

Now...do I blame Walmart? Of course not. They hired an idiot, it happens to the best of them. But I'll remember that moment. It could have happened at Sears or Target or the grocery store. I get that. But I worked retail for years and that's just COMMON SENSE 101.

Maybe everyone should have to work retail once in their lives to get it? Can YOU think of someone who needs to? I bet you can!

2008-05-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

know the difference between sophomores in high school and drunks at a bar? nothing. i work part time on weekends in a bar. not that different from the classroom. only difference--my doling of wisdom is a bit tweaked. in the classroom, i spout of why julius caesar is really the tragedy of brutus, or that there really are other people and ideas out there (other than the small town farm ideals) and while neither is wrong, they are different and can be learned from. at the bar, well my "teaching" is typically things like: no more for you, i think you've had enough, no i will not turn the juke box up as i have already lost hearing tonight thank you very much. but the clients, pretty much the same. i have to keep order, babysit, and bite my tongue so as not to say what goes through my head.

Introduction to the Journey

2008-05-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

I've always had a very dry sense of humor, and love to make people laugh and shake their heads...serves me well in the classroom, where I teach sophomore English. I moved back home after my daughter was born. My poor husband--well growing up in south Texas, you can bet he's bitter about winter. (no pun intended)

As much as I miss the big city and want to die from pure cabin fever in this small town, in many ways I know now we came home for a reason.

My 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with autism a few months ago. They don't tell you how bad it is anymore, they just say, "she's on the autism spectrum." What the heck does that mean? No other way to say it--IT SUCKS. I won't always blog about it, but it is nice to have a place to get the facts straight in my mind. I worry that she won't have friends, that she won't ever be able to tell me how she feels. Right now, we're celebrating the words: hi, hat, thank you, and the many animal sounds she's discovered. It's a far cry from the two year old who would cry because she couldn't say anything and kick out of pure frustration.

But the little joys are AWESOME. Those animal sounds--I'll NEVER get sick of them, because they are her first signs of communicating with mama. We go for walks and when a kitty comes up to us, and she goes "Meow," I almost cry. And I learned humility and true friendship when a colleague had a fundraiser at school for my little girl's doctor appointments.

Now the cool thing is...I've got one HAPPY kid most of the time. She loves to laugh and run gets little jokes. New things excite her. And, she's a neat freak. ANd for this mom--that's awesome. Let's just say my house and car...well, there....ummm....organized with my own flair (that is to say not at all).

More humor and journeys to come.....it won't always be sappy and sad. There are VERY COOL things going on in the world, and me, my husband, and my daughter plan to be part of them!